Store-solutionist T-Shirts

"Do you know how much damage all these plastic bags are doing to our planet?" "I've got a great idea. Eat all your stuff right here in the store."

Let's get organized

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

'Think tank' and 'Rethink tank'.

"The problem with your reasoned solutions is they don't fit my preconceived notions of the problems."

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Self-Checkout.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

Office Supplies: New and improved motivational posters, now with 25% more inspiration.

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'

Folding Container.