Store Scanner Fan T-Shirts

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

Your job...is to make sure nothing ever gets to this desk

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

Screensaver says project compiling.

Those magnificent men and their reading machines.

'I'm sorry sir, but that slide rule exceeds the allowable length for a sharp object, unless, of course, you can manage to fold it.'

Hole Sale

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

'Very impressive resume... new printer?'

Gravitas

Al's vending machine.

A dog sits at her typwriter

The stuff heroes are made of: Ernie courageously throws himself on a live fax machine and saves the entire department from an incoming round of layoff notices.

'This should be fun... this is my brother-in-law's tax return!'

"I want to meet with my company. How soon can you make a conference table for 10,000 employees?"

Grocery store ruins a cart drivers attempt to motivate his horse.

"On my last birthday, I received a microscope with a resolution so powerful I was able to watch single-celled organisms divide to create new life. Even with the aid of that microscope, you still could not see the f**k I don't give for your book."

Dog at the Returns Desk

Insert 50 cents for absolutely nothing.

"It's an O.K. phone, but it takes great pictures."

'If at first you don't get the survey results you want on your first survey, get mad and tear it up.'

"Everything is in the Cloud."