Stock Sleuth Pillows

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'My mistake! Your stock portfolio GAINED one hundred percent!'

"Just how many shares of this stock did you buy?"

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

"I know the stock you purchased is down 90 percent and management filed for bankruptcy but let's not read too much into that."

'Which stocks should I invest in to profit from this 'Armageddon' you keep talking about?'

The main reason Bod trades on-line is his dumb mistakes remain anonymous

'I still prefer trading the old fashioned way.'

'Sorry, Bob's no longer a broker here; he was too shy - In fact, exactly $2.1 million shy.'

'We never act on market rumors until they pass the 'squelch' test.'

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

'Our recommended stocks cost less than others selling for twice as much'

'Did you ever wish you could meet the dope who bought an overpriced stock right at the top?'

James T. Blanton - Market Whisperer

'I get all my stock tips from loud users of cell phones.'

'This morning a rumor that we would buy the Arpex Corp drove our stock up $3. Around noon a rumor that Arpex would buy us drove it up another $3. And in the afternoon a rumor that wo have nothing to do with Arpex drove it up $3 more.'

'Always bought low.'

'Hey, remember me? I was the broker who told you to sell everything when the stock market was down.'

Rumour Analyst

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

Clickbait

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

Orderly Conduct of Sales

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

The United States' economy deflating.

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'