Stock Market Strategists Gifts

The Bull, the Bear, the Ant, and the Grasshopper

Banksters privatize the profits and socialize the losses

'Our stock has been going up all week. What are we doing right?'

"Well, if I shouldn't invest with my emotions, whose emotions should I invest with?"

'I put everything I had into war bonds, and then PEACE broke out!'

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

Investment consulting is based on nothing but serious logic.

"Higgins is our best trader. . . he can smell fear."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'The recession is over, again.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'Are we broke yet?'