Market Strategists Gifts

'We want to beat the system, but we want the system to keep playing.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"