Stock Market Star T-Shirts

"My summer vacation: How I made money in a bear market."

'What I want for Christmas can be found in the Russel 2000 index of small-fry funds.'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

BUS, 'I've got all my money tied up in securitized mortgages or mortgaged securities -- I forget which.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Boom

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'I just wanted to thank you for grounding me to my room for the weekend. I took the time to start a computer programming company, which earned me $13 million.'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Business News.

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'Sell South Africa!'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

THEATRICAL AGENCY, 'We have an opening to do some commercials - How'd you like to be the LEAST interesting man in the world?'

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"What do you mean, the market rallied?"

Japanese economic policies advocated by Shinzo Abe.

Money down the drain.

Grim Reaper leaning on scared trader.

If only we could sell shares in doom and gloom.

'Today the market roared back on news that greed is good for an ailing economy.'

'I left, the day I retire, in the hands of the Dow, NASDAQ and Fred.'

"The first one was the hardest."