Stock Market Challenge T-Shirts

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Empty box of ideas

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

Tic-tac-toe

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

Sinking sales

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

It's 10 p.m. Do you know how low your investment banking stocks can go?

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Finance piracy

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

"I'm afraid it's the bankruptcy virus."

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

Discomfort zone.

"This is a penny stock. This is a prime stock and this is a laughing stock."

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

Morgue for Dot Com Stocks

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

"This one is very popular one. Ben Bernanke repeating over and over, 'the economy is going to be okay'."

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"Well, that's not a good market indicator."