Stock Market Challenge T-Shirts

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Empty box of ideas

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

Tic-tac-toe

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

"Cold drinks" "Tesla stock"

Sinking sales

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

It's 10 p.m. Do you know how low your investment banking stocks can go?

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"I'm afraid it's the bankruptcy virus."

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

Finance piracy

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

Discomfort zone.

"This is a penny stock. This is a prime stock and this is a laughing stock."

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

Morgue for Dot Com Stocks

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'Tech stocks tumbled on news that Alan Greenspan's computer was down.'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

"Well, that's not a good market indicator."