Steroid Cream Scientist T-Shirts

"I'm not a snowflake Martha, I'm just having an eczema flare up."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"You weren't laid off...it's called Summer break."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

A small man under a giant microscope.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"I've thrown in some prescription drugs that don't interact well."

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

'We're in luck. Not a word about steroids.'

'Just a few more steroids and I get-a-chopping!'

Animal cosmetic testing

Graduate of 2021

'There's more to life than winning. There's also testing negative for steroids.'

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

"I got an A+ on my math test! I'm updating my resume."

'Pegasus used steroids. Pass it on.'

La Tour 2007.

Doping

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."

In addition to players, some major league umpires are suspected of using steroids.

"Oh, those guys! Are they still taking Steroids?!"

Various sporting officials think to themselves: '4 years at West Point for this'...'5 years at MIT for this'...'6 years at Julliard for this.'

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

'So Bob says to me, he says, 'steroid are the only way I can compete at the pro level'. I didn't have the nerve to tell him it has no effect in poker.'

'How did the public know about our positive drug tests?'

"Guess who got promoted to cosmetics research."

'Good news and bad news, Kevin. You tested negative for steroids, but positive for estrogen.'

J. Willems - batting champ, home run champ, tested negative for steroids.

"I had that nightmare where I’m in class, a final paper is due, and I forgot to eat it."

'If it has to be animal testing - get into cosmetics.'

'Gribner is batting .317 with six home runs and a positive steroid testing average of just .17 lifetime. Here's the pitch.'