Stepparent Gifts

"And these two are from my first mortgage."

"And those, I believe, are my stepchildren."

"My kid form my first marriage? I thought he was YOUR kid from your first marriage."

'Holidays is the good news on stepparents - I have 15 grandparents buying me gifts.'

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"We penguin fathers are the greatest!!!..."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"Actually it's quite nice. It's just that I don't think I'm your dad."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'The only game my Dad knows is playing possum.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Child on a schedule.

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

Ugly sisters from Cinderella fighting

"That's my mum and her boyfriend's the one next to my dad who's behind his girlfriend next to his second wife, just behind my mums first husband."

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

Quick Response Forces at East 89th Street

"We've found your birth mother."

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

"It's your mother calling."

"Mom?!"

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

'Mom's Diner: your meal free if you wash all the dishes and take out the garbage.'