Stellar Navigator T-Shirts

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

Airlines

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Whatever it is, we're up to our necks in it!"

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

"You are here"

Goose checking his GPS.

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

'Geez, what's with the delay?'

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

SOE (South Of Earth)

Surfing alien.

While playing fetch, Beasle inadvertently set back interplanetary relations for millennia.

You are Here

'I have to say, the stars are magnificent in the desert at night...'

Hot air ballon, but with the ballon replaced by a thought bubble.

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"Houston - we are landing in the crater now. . . on first viewing, this planet looks uninhabited. . ."

Oceanographer

"... Now, turn left and go in a straight line for 60 trillion miles."

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'

FAA man letting planes out of bird cage

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

'Lost your luggage again, Mr. Rizzi? Wow, that enables you to join our 'Frequent Lost Luggage Club'!'

'They've found life as we know it exists on other planets. Species all over the universe leave their car lights on and drain their batteries.'

'Really? -- I'd always assumed that Ross Perot was one of us.'

Star versus UFO...

"Stacy, Tom thinks you've been acting distance since you became a flight attendant."