Steam Train Enthusiast Gifts

Don't disturb yourself, mum; there's nothing in it that'll smash.

'Mmm that's a bit different for 8:45.'

Graffiti about dominoes, beer etc. Old man says: 'To deter vandals, I'm doing my own graffiti.'

Helga was keen to take out a patent on her novel design for a new means of child conveyance!

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

"Beanirrito"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

A trevor of trainspotters

I think I can, I think I can ... therefore I think I am...

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'He's been back packing around India and doesn't he want everyone to know it.'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"XIVth Street"

The next fast train has gone.

Trainspotters a group of trainspotters outside a church taking down details of a Bride's wedding gown train

Run from the hills!

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

HS2 time bomb...

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Switchback Playground.

L.A. Transfer

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

"We apologise for the late arrival of the ten-eighteen..."