Stealth Expert Gifts

"No. I can still see you."

The Anti-Agent

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"Ok, I found a secure line."

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

Statue of Security

CCTV in church.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Nuclear Security Summit

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'Do you hear someone shouting at us?'

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

Top Secret - Destroy before reading.

"That does it! ISIS is defeated."

The Costs Of Doing War.

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

Dictator, Interrupted

How to create a password you can remember...

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'