Staying At A B&b Mugs

"There's a gender neutral toilet under the bed."

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'Now here's a place I like!'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

Mini Bar

'What if I promise not to look?'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

Bed and Breakfast

'Bed & Bagel'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

'Front desk? Someone came in my room and ate the little candies on my pillow.'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

Bed and Lunch: For People Who Like To Sleep In

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

"There's a less crowded and more attractive beach at the newly renovated, moderately priced Hotel del Mar, in nearby . . ."

'No, the sign's not wrong. Most of our guests like to party all night.'

'What's the night life-like?

Bed or breakfast.

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

Bed and Breakfast and Couch and Coffee

Holiday-maker taking hotel's entire drinking water supply, "All inclusive, then!"

"I thought you booked us a king?"

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

The doctor is INN

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

Nightmare Hotel Tea Trolley

"... Yes, I know there's a hole in your ceiling. Why do you think we're called, the star view motel?"