Stay-out-late Aficionado Mugs

'-and what makes YOU so sure my missus is waiting up for me?'

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Drive in movies.

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

Abacus.

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

"Let me slip into something more humorous."

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

'It took months of training but now she'd rather sip a martini than fetch a ball.'

"The only way I could be sure the sitter would watch the baby, was to put it in front of the refrigerator!"

"Doc, I think I'm suffering from insomnia...every ten minutes the boss bursts into my office and wakes me up!"

"Last time I ordered Rock and you ordered Paper, so this time..."

'This would be so romantic if we weren't married to each other.'

Tea and Sugar Rationing

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."

"How was the cocktail, Sir, enough vodka?"

"I just got home. Let me roost a bit."

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

"Could you give me another minute? I'm not sure who's paying yet."