State Trooper Pillows

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"Oh, I'm sorry, sir, my mistake. That sign was meant for someone with a less expensive car."

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Speed Limit Enforced from Aircraft.

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

Clown car full of policemen

"Shall I put you down for a state trooper cap, T-shirt, or coffee mug?"

"I'd just like to say that whenever I've needed a policeman I've been able to find one."

"State bird?" "Eastern goldfinch!" "State flower?" "Purple violet!" "Ok! Go on!"

"What's the rush? He'll still be dead when you get there."

Speed Limit Enforced by Slow Aircraft

'It's my birthday. I'm giving a free cup of coffee to everyone that gets a ticket.'

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Since we initiated regular staff development sessions, we've turned the school around 360 degrees.'

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

"You car pool guys will be going down together for x-rays."

"She already spent summers in New York City without A/C."

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"

Astronomical observations.

"Im curious about your dependent children. I believe their names are Scamp, Scruffy, Flop, Spunky, and Lady."

Super Bowl Monday

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

'To think what I loved about you was your old-fashionedness.'

Postman delivering a sack of mail through heavy snowdrift.

"Your call may be monitored to give us all a laugh....please enter your 23 digit telephone banking code followed by your 14 digit account no and your 24 digit security code..."

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