State Employee Pillows

"Public employee"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

The Anti-Agent

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Nation-building never works."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"You're fired."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

They're Not Just That Into It

Mario Draghi

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Pretty Flowers

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."