State Employee Pillows

"Public employee"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"You're fired."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Nation-building never works."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

The Anti-Agent

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Mario Draghi

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."