Starting To Talk Pillows

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"You're such a good listener."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"He gets easily abstracted."

Men gossiping

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”