Starting To Talk Pillows

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You're such a good listener."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Men gossiping

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"