Starting Homeschooling Gifts

'One advantage to homeschooling junior is that I am now learning things I never learned when I went to school.'

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"

"Home school marching band"

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

"We're home-enlightening him."

"I've decided to pouch school you."

"Doesn't follow directions... Uncooperative... Doesn't get along with others... Have you considered home schooling?"

"If she's going to be off school for a while, we need to make sure she's not stuck in the house all day."

"I asked the parents to get involved more and now they're home-schooling."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"Mom, please shake my chair. I'm taking a virtual school bus ride before class begins."

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Culture Saturday

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"I'll bet all of Albert Einstein's teachers felt like idiots for giving him bad grades too."