Starting A New Job In Finance Gifts

'We have three confirmations, the crystal ball, the magic 8-ball and the coin flip, all say to buy.'

'How much is two plus two?' - 'How much do you want it to be?'

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

"Just once, I'd like to be able to write a check without getting thrown in jail."

'You haven't touched the the reserve funds yet, have you?.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Heartless Taxation Department

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Investment Firm - Stocks and Bonds/Commodities/Precious Metals.

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

You wouldn't need to do much. Just show up at the occasional Stockholders Meeting.

Tax relief

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

'In today's market news, losers outnumbered those who were wiped out.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Carefree luggage.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Reach for the Star.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Pipe Dream.

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Build Your Own Portfolio

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."