Starting A New Job In Aviation T-Shirts

Walking Luggage.

"Welcome aboard! You now have access to over 8 million TV shows! 2 billion movies! 4 gazillion music stations! And about 7 minutes before our internet poops out."

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

Welcome to the Team

Airport Security.

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

Employee of the Month Parking

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Parking meter on the moon.

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Leaving a Lasting Impression. . .

Rubbish Carousel

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"We're actually going to grow potatoes on Mars!"

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

A Simplified Map Airport Map

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

Airport Toilet Hand Drying Machine

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

"Great launch party"

'...You hear me? Control here, can you hear me?'

"Five bucks he opens it."

"Not only is our flight delayed, but the airline has declared bankruptcy."

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

Airport traffic

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

The Problem with the TSA

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

"You too."

'Fasten yourself to your seats please.'

"The captain asks everyone switch their phones to airplane mode -- He wants to go faster."