Starting A New Job At The Airport Gifts

Airport Security.

Walking Luggage.

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Rubbish Carousel

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

A Simplified Map Airport Map

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

Airport Toilet Hand Drying Machine

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

Airport traffic

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

"Not only is our flight delayed, but the airline has declared bankruptcy."

The Problem with the TSA

'The service was crap.'

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

'Flexi-space.'

A jumbo jet

"The captain asks everyone switch their phones to airplane mode -- He wants to go faster."

"Don't worry dude, that's not the intercom, here, give me the manual."

'You may get up and collect your carry-ons as soon as I'm timed out and illegal to work tomorrow.'

"Awwe, but just look at that face. Come on, let's let her on!"

'Anything to declare?'

Passengers in the window of an envelope are lead by a pilot in the stamp.

"Welcome aboard! You now have access to over 8 million TV shows! 2 billion movies! 4 gazillion music stations! And about 7 minutes before our internet poops out."

'Not only do we get to probe earthlings, we get paid for it.'