Starting A New Job At The Airport Gifts

Airport Security.

Walking Luggage.

The World's Easiest Airport

The World Wide Web.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Rubbish Carousel

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

A Simplified Map Airport Map

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

Airport Toilet Hand Drying Machine

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

The Problem with the TSA

Airport traffic

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

'The service was crap.'

"Not only is our flight delayed, but the airline has declared bankruptcy."

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

'Flexi-space.'

A jumbo jet

"The captain asks everyone switch their phones to airplane mode -- He wants to go faster."

"Don't worry dude, that's not the intercom, here, give me the manual."

'You may get up and collect your carry-ons as soon as I'm timed out and illegal to work tomorrow.'

"Awwe, but just look at that face. Come on, let's let her on!"

'Anything to declare?'

Passengers in the window of an envelope are lead by a pilot in the stamp.

'Not only do we get to probe earthlings, we get paid for it.'

Wet Nursing Air Stewardess

"Welcome aboard! You now have access to over 8 million TV shows! 2 billion movies! 4 gazillion music stations! And about 7 minutes before our internet poops out."