Starting A New Job At An Airport Prints

Airport Checkpoints

Airport Security.

Walking Luggage.

The World's Easiest Airport

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

The World Wide Web.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Rubbish Carousel

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"Kindly place your seat in the upright position, extinguish all smoking material, fasten your seat belt, tie your tie, and adopt a serious and dignified demeanor."

A Simplified Map Airport Map

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

Airport Toilet Hand Drying Machine

'Such work commitment has to be rewarded: The ticket is free Sir...'

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

"Not only is our flight delayed, but the airline has declared bankruptcy."

'The service was crap.'

The Problem with the TSA

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

Airport traffic

A jumbo jet

"The captain asks everyone switch their phones to airplane mode -- He wants to go faster."

"Don't worry dude, that's not the intercom, here, give me the manual."

'You may get up and collect your carry-ons as soon as I'm timed out and illegal to work tomorrow.'

"Awwe, but just look at that face. Come on, let's let her on!"

Passengers in the window of an envelope are lead by a pilot in the stamp.

'Not only do we get to probe earthlings, we get paid for it.'

'Anything to declare?'