Starting A New Coaching Job T-Shirts

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Carefree luggage.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Reach for the Star.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Pipe Dream.

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

New Guy.

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Surfing the daily stress

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."