Starting A Job As A Pharmacist Pillows

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

vaccine wars.

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Fighting the Pandemic

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Booster shots

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."