Starting A Job As A Pharmacist Pillows

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Fighting the Pandemic

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Booster shots

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Whack-a-molecule