Aspiring Pharmacist Pillows

"These are gumdrops. We're out of the placebos your doctor usually prescribes."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Little doctor.

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

'I got an 'F' in penmanship, but it doesn't matter. I plan on becoming a doctor.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Child with a junior chemistry set in the complaints department.

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"Dad, I want to become a doctor. I already know something about anatomy: A human being consists of a head, a belly, legs, arms, and a smartphone."

Junior doctor kits.

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

"I'm gonna be a doctor when I grow up."

"I might suggest Ritalin."

"I'm wearing hospital scrubs and a stethoscope around my neck!"

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

"This drug has such pleasant side effects I consider them value-added."

'I thought of becoming a doctor, but you have to wash your hands all the time . . .'

The Medical Student

"It's been my lifelong ambition! For the last two weeks."