Starting A Culinary Career Pillows

Pizza Expresso

'They're not mints - they're antacid tablets.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Counting ribs

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're the lid to my pot."

6 Brothers Falafel

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Cookbooks

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Rump roast?"

Picking pastries.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Man's cooking explodes.

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”