Starry-eyed Dealmakers T-Shirts

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

Unglamourous job, but with massive rewards. How about the city?

'I think you should know I'm listening to offers from other Santas.'

London underground talks continued

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

Hostile take-over.

"The usual day. We took over somebody, then somebody took us over."

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

"After this I'll just need you to remove the watermark from your soul."

'Lots of give and take in that negotiation...they took and we gave.'

...Let's talk about your sale's order.