Staring Contest Champion Gifts

"You just blinked — I saw you blink first. OK, again. Ready? Go!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Happy Turkey Day!

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Man sees misspelled 'Minimum Competency Testing' sign on door.

"I won the spelling bee because Eddie Scott invented three letters."

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Let's move on to a place where the earthlings appear smarter'

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

Elf of the Month

Brother Ernest, I said "vow of silence," not "sow of violence"!

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

Jesse wished the kids would just get it over with and guess all the wrong letters in his name.

The Specimen Hunter

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

'You misspelled 'Gonna' Verl. . . there's two 'n's' in it.'

How some bird species determine pecking order.

"Hey how do you spell Abominable?"

'Are you sure brook is misspelled'

Communikations Semminar.

'Do sumfink abat litracy'

The art of fishing.

'Well how do you spell it then?'

"That question you asked earlier piqued my curiosity, Steve..."