Staring Contest Champion Gifts

"You just blinked — I saw you blink first. OK, again. Ready? Go!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

'Is this river good for fish?' - 'Yes, so good the refuse to leave it.'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

Happy Turkey Day!

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

Man sees misspelled 'Minimum Competency Testing' sign on door.

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"I won the spelling bee because Eddie Scott invented three letters."

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

Man looking at sign that reads 'Hord Wark' and says: "I can't put that up. It's too much like hard work."

'Let's move on to a place where the earthlings appear smarter'

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

Elf of the Month

Jesse wished the kids would just get it over with and guess all the wrong letters in his name.

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

'You misspelled 'Gonna' Verl. . . there's two 'n's' in it.'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

How some bird species determine pecking order.

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

The Specimen Hunter

'Are you sure brook is misspelled'

Communikations Semminar.

'Do sumfink abat litracy'

'Well how do you spell it then?'

The art of fishing.

"That question you asked earlier piqued my curiosity, Steve..."

'Don't leave behind any D-N-A. Or E-Y-E, A-R-M or L-E-G.'