Star Gazer Gifts

Almost Everything Bagel

"If you look carefully you'll see that all claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June and when Venus is in alignment with Mars."

Skimming out star reflections

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

'I'll be working on the largest and smallest objects in the universe - superclusters and netrinos. I'd like you to handle everything in between.'

'We're looking for a star, and I truly believe that star could be you...'

"Use your White Privilege, Luke."

'A lot of rubbish. We Leos aren't that easily fooled.'

Rocket.

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

Atlas was in deep trouble.

'I still contend that we live in a finite universe.'

"Ohhh! Now I get it!"

'YOU ARE HERE'

"The Center of the Universe? ....Speaking!"

'Yes, there are a lot of stars, Son. Not as many as there are equity mutual funds, but a lot, nonetheless.'

'Star light, star bright, first star I...' 'No.'

'Happy New Year!'

'What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.'

'Ok, everyone keep very quiet... they never stay for too long.'

Shepherd points out the north star to 3 wisemen holding maps.

Pay per view.

"No you can't borrow my eclipse glasses. I told you not to eat yours."

Swinging on a star.

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

'Oooh, I see we have a celebrity among us tonight.'

"Have you made a new year's resolution?"

Astronomers talk about sunspots

'There's the big tipper!'

Happy Earthday

'I've seen out to the limit of the observable universe, and believe me, it's no better out there than it is here.'

"Mind where you're going next time."

"What if UFOs are just billionaires joy riding from other planets?"

'I tell you what, no more dates with Astronomers! What I thought would be a romantic walk under the stars ended up being a two-hour Physics lecture...'