Star Gazer Gifts

Almost Everything Bagel

"If you look carefully you'll see that all claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June and when Venus is in alignment with Mars."

Skimming out star reflections

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

'I'll be working on the largest and smallest objects in the universe - superclusters and netrinos. I'd like you to handle everything in between.'

'We're looking for a star, and I truly believe that star could be you...'

"Use your White Privilege, Luke."

'A lot of rubbish. We Leos aren't that easily fooled.'

'Bad news, fellas... it's inventory time.'

Rocket.

'I still contend that we live in a finite universe.'

Atlas was in deep trouble.

'Star light, star bright, first star I...' 'No.'

"The Center of the Universe? ....Speaking!"

'YOU ARE HERE'

"Ohhh! Now I get it!"

'It's a comet . . . It's a big rock on your head.'

'Yes, there are a lot of stars, Son. Not as many as there are equity mutual funds, but a lot, nonetheless.'

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'

Swinging on a star.

'What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.'

'Happy New Year!'

Shepherd points out the north star to 3 wisemen holding maps.

'Ok, everyone keep very quiet... they never stay for too long.'

Pay per view.

"No you can't borrow my eclipse glasses. I told you not to eat yours."

'I've seen out to the limit of the observable universe, and believe me, it's no better out there than it is here.'

"Mind where you're going next time."

Astronaut sees map indicating where he is in the solar system

"What if UFOs are just billionaires joy riding from other planets?"

Astronomers talk about sunspots

'Either this planet has a lot of meteor showers or they have no budget to repair their potholes.'

'The Universe isn't coming to an end, Schneebart -- you just left the lens cap on!'

"Great launch party"

'I tell you what, no more dates with Astronomers! What I thought would be a romantic walk under the stars ended up being a two-hour Physics lecture...'