Star Catchers Gifts

'Oh Jerry! Like in that old song, you really caught a falling star for me! This is sooo romantic!'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'You lifted your head.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"He's a keeper!"

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

'I've heard there's a big one in this lake.'

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Life in the fastest lane.

Astronaut

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

Four fishermen catch the same fish.

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

Flower tribute

A Discreet Hint.

"I slept funny!"

"Just once I would like to laugh or to frown."

Stick Dreams

"Idiot! I signaled for a sinker!"

Last night I dreamed I was lying on a beach with Sandra Dee, and a big lifeguard asked to see my beach tag. I didn

'Ed's always been a bit of a dreamer.'

"Behold my perfect window of existence, when I'm neither trying to wake up nor falling asleep."