Stand-up Comedy Pillows

'Joking or non-joking?'

Virus Standup

'Hi. I just rowed in from Norway and boy! Are my arms Thor!'

Comedians: Before and after political corectness.

Stand-Up Comic Eye Exam.

"Hey, Eddie, wanna hear a joke that's offensive now, in bad taste two years from now, funny in eight, and no one gets in twenty?"

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

'You really should Floss.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

The young Don Rickles

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

Derek's Spontaneous Put Downs Were Legionary.

'Better ease up on the goodnatured barbs...'

'Why did your wife hit you with a piano stool?' 'She couldn't lift the piano!'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

"Instead of a three-hour play with 20 performers, what about a single performer, alone onstage, telling jokes for 30 minutes?"

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

"At around 2:53 this video gets hilarious, I swear!"

"Every year I lay a thousand eggs. Mother's Day rolls around, not a single card."

Comedian faces audience of clowns: 'Ooh, tough crowd.'

Still dazed...Lester is confused as to which came first, the chickens or the eggs?

"LOL!"

'Yes, I did use drugs when I was your age, but they were all acne medications.'

'We've had reports of a kid napping.'

Optometrist Humor

"Boy, I get booed everytime I perform here."

'He's a master of the cruel put down.'

Chicken: the one-man show

"Whenever I try telling a joke...everyone laughs at me."

'If laughter is the best medicine, how come the ambulance never takes you to a comedy club?'

"But seriously, folks..."

Tragedy and Material

"Do I really have to add 'Just kidding' after everything I say?"