Stage Storytellers T-Shirts

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Pastries and Candy

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'Are we there yet?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'He was a great writer'

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Jorge Luis Borges

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'