Staff Sergeant Gifts

"Then it's agreed. I'll send you a lieutenant in exchange for a clerk typist and a staff sergeant."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

'At ease, soldier.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

Sales.

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

Targets.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."