Staff Development Day T-Shirts

'Recent research has shown that a spycam can greatly improve the honor code.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Team Leader

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

Teamwork

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

Busy office.

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'