Staff Development Coordinator T-Shirts

'Before I answer your question, let me briefly review my list of strategies for dealing with difficult people.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

Busy office.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

Targets.

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Sales.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."