Squeamish Foodie Prints

Cafe Menu: Freshly Strangled Chickens

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Your meal sounded nice."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

Back in 5 minutes!

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

Thermidor Dali

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

Kentucky Fried Horse

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Tzatzikicicle

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

Avocado Timeline

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.