Spunk Seeker Pillows

You've got to admire his spunk.

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Ghost School.

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

Open House of Horrors

'You say 'boo' she wets herself.'

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

Starvation Watching

Welcome Ghost.

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

"He did it!"

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

Reading room

"You had too many characters in your last tweet."

Janet Leigh

Ghosts from around the world

"Excuse me, do you folks believe in ghosts?"

"You never know what will catch on!"

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'Every day son, I feel on top of the World!'

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

"You've got termites."

'That's a bit better. Persistence pays off - although, not as well as it did when I was your age.'

'Repossessed? No, I said it was possessed.'