Sprite Aficionado T-Shirts

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

Fly Football

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

The Amazing Man-Spider

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Raheem Sterling

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

Mohamed Salah

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Batman O' War

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

The Family Joules: Part 5

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Watching the football.