Sprite Aficionado Pillows

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

Fly Football

"Portrait of a Lady"

The Amazing Man-Spider

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

The trauma of losing.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Hi, my name is Bruce Wayne, but not THE Bruce Wayne!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"This looks like a job for 'Margarita Man!'"

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

The lame cowboy with spurs on his crutches.

Watching the football.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Cristiano Ronaldo