Spreadsheet Sliders Pillows

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Sales

'Lou you have never gotten comfy with spreadsheets, have you?'

business

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'