Spread Enthusiast Pillows

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Man does not live by bread alone."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

As Seen Watching TV

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

"Hmm.... now I hadn't noticed THAT before..."

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

J W D Butterworth chief accountant - Pin-stripes made of numbers

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

Profits - "It's worse than you think it goes down to the third floor."

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

'Don't worry,, I checked the figures with wikopedia.'