Spread Enthusiasts Pillows

Peanut Margarine

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Satya Nutella

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

Yoga Beginners Class. Breathe and stretch. That's Good. URGH! OOOF! "Yoga pants" should be something you wear and not something that happens because you can't catch your breath!

Spring has arrived, the flowers they bloom. The birds start to sing a happier tune. Everything's great! I'm reborn and free! THUNK! Except from winter's potholes swallowing me.

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"Hmm.... now I hadn't noticed THAT before..."

J W D Butterworth chief accountant - Pin-stripes made of numbers

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'Good news - we're merging with Mellman's Jelly and Alpine Toast.'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

Profits - "It's worse than you think it goes down to the third floor."

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

'Don't worry,, I checked the figures with wikopedia.'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

'...and if you want to see this month's figures, you'll have to go down to the basement!'

'This chart has no correlation to data. It's just to us feel good about our big bonuses and perks.'

Manifest Destiny for Accountants