Sporty Lawn Simplified T-Shirts

Al's Garden Supply vs. Joe's Sporting Goods

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

The very noisy, but enjoyable game of Crowquet.

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

'The grudge match.'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

The Scottish Lawn

Beware of the Lawn

'I can't get my husband to water the lawn.'

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'This veldt makes me worry about the condition of our yard back home.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Mower Repair

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

'This is Ed down the street. Your dog is doing his business on my lawn again.'

"Yes!"

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

A bowls player bowling a bomb

"Larry's taking a victory lap around the crab grass before putting the mower away for the winter."

Mowing the Jungle

No Croquet

Mohawk Yard.

'Still haven't given up on your lawn, eh, Pertzborn?'

'To peeeEEE, or not to pee... That is the question.'

"No plans set in stone yet, but I'll probably spend some time getting on my wife's last nerve, maybe hyperfocus on the lawn."