Sports Strategy Schemer Pillows

"All I know Doc is that I seem to feint a lot."

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

The Other Cooperstown

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

'Are you blind ref?'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Do you call this a business plan?"