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Alastair Cook

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

The Other Cooperstown

"I love fast break business success."

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Are you blind ref?'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'I hate PowerPoint.'

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'