Sports Simulation Strategists Pillows

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

Perils of the double play.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

The Other Cooperstown

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"I love fast break business success."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Are you blind ref?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'I hate PowerPoint.'