Sports Presenter Gifts

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

Another reason why people who are married should never co-anchor the news.

Adrian Chiles

Clare Balding

'I agree-Gary Lineker can get up your nose sometimes,but...'

Adrian Chiles

"I think the key to my success is always winning by a nose!"

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

If nobody had invented graphics

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

I think you're ace

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Perils of the double play.

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

Kenny Dalglish

'The 'Leviathan Bat,' or many centuried marvel of the modern (cricket) world. (Dr. William Gilbert Grace.)'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'