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Rory McIlroy

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Mixed Doubles.

Saving a Heart

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

The Salmon Run

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

'Best save I've ever seen.'

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

The Other Cooperstown

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Dialogue about the relationship.

"Think of me as the designated sitter."

Egyptian Football

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Golf with a difference

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

I love Basketball.

'At last they're waving us through - Away you go George.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."