Sports Perfectionist Pillows

'I hate to keep complaining, but my finger grip on this ball still doesn't seem right.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Bullseye!

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Surreal ale

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.