Performance Perfectionist Pillows

"Page 33, line 4..."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

'We've lost the will to go on with our play! Is there a motivational speaker in the house?'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

Cull people who talk and text during a concert you've paid good money to see.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Bullseye!

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"